The Puppetmakers Greatest Creation
by lina kazamike
Summary: This story contains SasoDei, sexual references, and some obscene jokes. The plotline is too strange and complicated for me to fit in this box. You'd have to read to find out.


A/N: This fic is gonna have some pretty weird imagery and references to sex in it so I've adulted it. Yes I DO own Kaiekae and Arashi. I don't own Naruto though...If I did I'd kick Naruto's personal ass on a daily basis just for existing. XD SASUKE FOR THE WIN!! Imma go have some caffeine. Whee.

And for the love of Alfred Molina, don't complain about the use of Japanese suffixes. If you don't wanna see them get out okay? That's how the fansubbing group that I watched naruto from did it so that's what I'm used to. Besides...ANBU and AnimeOne did it too before Dattebayo took over the subbing. And even SaiyanIsland STOLE those subs because they were "the best."

And I WILL put an index at the end. If I don't translate any additional Japanese, it's in my profile.

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Deidara was lounging about his and Sasori's personal hideout. He was making more clay bombs.

There was a large amount of soft clattering, banging, and popping through the shut door in the vicinity of Sasori's room.

Deidara was used to it. This had been going on for quite some time. In a specific order even.

Sasori would make a lot of noise for about a day, be quiet for another, save for some clicks and pops of joints going into place, then come out looking tired and flop himself on the couch or Deidara. Whichever was convenient to him at the time.

This was his process of making a puppet. This process had gone on longer than most though.

A whole week he'd been at it. Deidara was nosy, but he kept his peeping eyes out of sasori's room while he was working. The last time that happened he got a good kick to the face.

Everything went quiet. Just as suddenly as the silence fell, the door slammed open and a very excited looking Sasori ran out of it and flung himself on Deidara.

"Deidara! I've done it! I've finally done it!" Sasori exclaimed.

Deidaras eyes were as big as tennis balls. "What have you 'done' Danna-Sama?"

Sasori pulled himself off of Deidara and motioned towards the open door. In it stood a puppet.

It was of a girl. Her hair was the exact color red as Sasori's. Her eyes were green. She was wearing a very frilly black lace dress.

Deidara was puzzled. it wasn't like Sasori to have a puppet so...pretty. Especially the colorful eyes and the lacey dress.

Deidara tasted a very funky taste in the back of his throat. "Ew." He muttered.

"What?" Sasori asked, "You don't like them?" he looked a little sad.

Deidara tried to recover from that statement. 'N-no Danna-Sama! She's..." He paused a little, trying to think of the right word. "Pretty...That's just not your styl--Wait...THEM??"

Sasori nodded, "Oh yes. Although..." He walked over to the room and walked past the puppet girl, who sidestepped only as Sasori walked up as if of her own accord.

The puppet's head turned to face him. The eyes moved and met his. Deidara waved awkwardly. The puppet waved back. Deidara flipped out. "SASORI QUIT SCREWING AROUND!"

Sasori leaned his head out the doorway, "EXCUSE me??"

"I KNOW your moving that puppet!"

Sasori laughed and pulled the hand of a second puppet. This one was wearing a different dress. Still frilly as ever, with bows instead of lace, and white. Her hair was a gold blonde just like Deidara's. Her eyes were a violet blue.

"The HELL man?" deidara motioned towards the very lifelike dolls. 'How many MORE of those do you have?"

"Just Kuroko" He motioned towards the redheaded one, "and Shiroko." He motioned towards the blonde one.

The puppets curtsied to him. "Stop that Sasori, it's not funny."

"Stop what?"

"Moving the puppets. It's disturbing."

Sasori just laughed again. "Ah, Deidara, would you like to come and shake Kuroko's hand? She seems to like you."

"I MEAN it. Quit dicking around, man."

Sasori held his hand up so Deidara could see them. Kuroko walked toward Deidara without Sasori's fingers moving. Her hand touched his. It felt just like a human hand. She shook Deidara's hand gently.

Deidara backed away. "W-what...?"

Sasori stepped forward and explained. "I have done it! I have created an artificial human by means of puppet mechanics! I've even saved certain bones, muscle, tissue, even flesh and organs from previous victims, all for this..." Again, he motioned towards Kuroko and Shiruko. "With the combination of a few people's lives, channeling their life energy and chakra into their bodies I was able to make them live!"

Sasori was ecstatic with the outcome of his experiment. Deidara was positively and utterly flabbergasted. Then a grin spread across his face.

"I'm happy that you were able to create...oh hell...LIFE Sasori!" He hugged Sasori. Sasori hugged Deidara back. "You know what this means?"

Sasori looked up at Deidara. "Hm?"

"They could sorta be like...daughters to us..."

"I'm glad you feel the same way Deidara. That's the whole reason why I made them."

Deidara looked at the girls and then back at Sasori..."So...Which one of us is the mom?" He asked awkwardly. He knew he and Sasori were in love but he never thought they'd have to choose which one was the husband and which one was the wife!

Sasori thought about it for a moment. "You I suppose."

"Why why why why why did you say that?"

"You have longer hair."

"That has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING."

"Okay...You're a nag."

"WHAT?"

Deidara's face was red as a beet.

"Okay...Okay...seriously, you're more in contact with your feminine side." Sasori attempted to explain.

"So I'm the bitch." Deidara raised an eyebrow.

"Just take the compliment." Sasori insisted.

"No! That's a two-sided statement! And don't even get me started on the time that you--my God I DO sound like a woman." Deidara clapped his hands to his mouth.

Sasori nodded slowly. "Uh huh...That's what I , you see Shiroko and Kuroko aren't their real names. I just used those because of what they were wearing. Do you mind naming your daughter?" He pushed Shiroko towards him.

Deidara paused. "Wait...What?"

Sasori froze. His eyes got shifty. He explained, "Well...uh...they have...our hair cells. Just cloned, see?"

Deidara held up a finger. "I'm not even going to attempt to understand that..." He looked at the blonde puppet. She was incredibly human-like. If Deidara didn't know better that she also had puppet mechanics in her, he could have sworn she was all human. Her hair was definitely his though. He thought for a while. "Arashi..."

Sasori looked at Deidara and smiled. "I like that name." He turned to Kuroko. "Maybe...Kaiekae for you. Would you like that name?"

She nodded.

Deidara sat back down on the couch and sighed. "This is gonna be one wild ride."

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A/N: The only Japanese I used so far is Danna-Sama. Don't get your undies in a knot. It is not a mistranslation of Sasori no Danna. By Deidara referring to Sasori as Danna-Sama is the equivalent of him referring to him as "My Husband."

Hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are appreciated!


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